I don’t like:
1. Not knowing. 2. Being lied to. 3. Being used. 4. Feeling forgotten. 5. Not being good enough. 6. Crying over nothing, but that nothing is actually a big something. 7. Being thrown into memories of how things used to be. 8. And feeling completely and utterly useless.
I don’t understand:
1. My parents. 2. My family. 3. Some of my friends. 4. Basically just people. 5. I don’t understand why it is so hard to just simply love people because after all, they’re just human and they make mistakes. 6. Why things have to be so complicated all the time. 7. Algebra, I don’t understand algebra. 8. I don’t understand why I try so hard all the time just so I can fail. 9. I don’t understand why I always find myself back in the same rut as before. 10. I don’t understand why it seems like when you need people the most, you feel completely deserted. 11. Why I mess up all the time. 12. Why anything I do just can’t ever be enough. 13. Why pain in the unintentional form is worse than intentional. 14. Why something can be so close, and a door so open but you feel like you can lose it in a heartbeat. 15. Why I feel trapped and don’t have anywhere to go. 15. Why there is no safeground. No where that I can just let my guard down. 16. Life. I just don’t understand life.
I know:
1. I’m only 20 and there is a lot of life ahead of me. 2. People make mistakes. It’s okay. 3. I made mistakes this year. That’s okay. 4. Summer= full time summer school and work full time because I know I can. I know I can make it work as long as I don’t let my parents get to me. 5. One day, things won’t be like this. One day I will be free from all of this. 6. There are people that care and maybe they don’t care or love the way I want them to, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love with everything they have. 7. Jesus loves me. He died for me so that one day, I can meet Him and spend eternity with Him. 8. And I know that He is the only place I can rest and feel okay. 9. He would never do anything to hurt me. All of this will somehow play a purpose in my life, and His plans for me, in time. All in due time. 10. And that is all I can hold on to.
Sin may lead to happiness, but like any emotion, happiness fades over time. Jesus gives us life,eternal life, one that doesn’t fade. With that life, we have a constant joy to look forward to, a hope for tomorrow, and a love that conquers all.
Everything in this world will eventually fade to nothingness.
The life and love that comes from Jesus Christ does not and will not ever fade away.
It is the only thing that will ever remain.
The only thing that gives meaning to “forever”.
Eternal life. Eternal love. Eternal joy.
I still love this.
Women of Legend
O my child, the heart is a perilous thing.
The heart crowns all paradoxes of God;
made of muscle and steel and fire, but frail as the sparrow’s wing.
Women of Legend are not born– they are grown
out of spit and dirt and fire and sweat;
they are not a glamorous flock.
They have grease underneath their fingernails
and wrinkles around their eyes.
They have bruises from too-hard pounding upon their breasts.
They have lines from laughter and their feet are callused
from barefooted adventures and sojourns.
Women of Legend are grown out of the spit and dirt and fire and sweat;
their significance is secured in their steadfast response
to unimaginable pain.
(Source: addtoany.com)
With a few modifications, this is a wonderful thought.
The old me has died.
The old has been shed
like snake skin coiled up on the ground
dry, frail, weak
for He is stronger than any force that stands against
stronger than my past that slithers up to my door
that howls at me
to give up and give in
But I will not.
for He is with me until the end
covering me in His blood
washing away my sins
redeeming me for what I am not
My strength comes from the One that died
all because of love
the One that conquered death
the One that came to save the world
I stand because of Jesus Christ
the only perfect sacrifice
I will not be overtaken
for the victory is already won
in Christ and in Christ alone.
The old me has died
I have been made new
the hope of eternity ushers me in
Behold
The old me has died.
Walking
Walking
Walk Faster
Pick up the pace
Child can barely keep up
Her angry voice bolts through tight lips
Her boy is crying now
Lost in confusion is he
Trying so hard to keep up with her
Appearance
Appearance is everything
Look sharp
Look busy
Look serious
The world peers in to devour her weakness
Throwing away what is broken,
and what is useless
She can’t keep up
She’s trapped
in chaos
in maddness
Will she ever be enough?
Regret circles her like a vulture waiting for prey
She’s haunted by failure
By regret
Bondage.